


A Light in the Darkness

by Smydjnjn



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Established Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Jeno is a mafia leader, Lee Jeno & Na Jaemin - Freeform, M/M, Mafia NCT, Sad Lee Jeno, Slow Burn, Soft Na Jaemin, angst-ish fluff, insecure Jeno, mentioned Renjun - Freeform, nct - Freeform, tw! mentioned of blood and violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:21:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26422570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smydjnjn/pseuds/Smydjnjn
Summary: in a world full of darkness and violences, Jeno is filled with insecurities that bringing Jaemin into his world is a dangerous thing to do. but little did he know, Jaemin existence bring light into his world, giving him hope that even in the darkest pit of his world, there's an angel that is willing to stay by his side.and that's what Jaemin do every night, assuring him that everything is okay.
Kudos: 20





	A Light in the Darkness

He never imagined his life would turn into some sort of movie, he never imagined his life would change into some fairy tale where the protagonist meets the soulmate and lives happily ever after - although his definition of happily ever after is more complicated. 

And, he certainly would never have imagined himself falling in love.

He remembers really well, a young man in a blue tuxedo, too fancy for a small coffee shop down the town, making his way into the shop, enchanting everyone with his royal like features.

This is where it all started:

***flashback***

_‘Dude, can you cover for me, I need to go to the restroom really quick.’_

_His friend, Renjun said in a hurry, running to the back, leaving him handling the counter that was filled with a long line of customers, ‘screw lunchtime’ he thought, before getting behind the counter, putting on a smile to the customers. It was until a few customers that he had lost his sense of speech all of a sudden, too mesmerized by the person before him._

_‘Hello sir, how can I- ahem how can I help you?’_

_He paused as he lifted his head up to see a handsome man in a royal blue tuxedo looking like he came straight from a disney movie._

_‘Well, hello pretty boy, I’d like to order an iced caramel latte please.’_

_The man said, flashing an eye catching smile, despite his strong face sculpture, the crescent eyes made his face a lot softer. Jaemin was nervous to say the least, which is weird for him since he never felt nervous around customers before, not even with some handsome college boys._

_‘A-and your name sir?’_

_‘Jeno, Lee Jeno.’_

_They made eye contact with each other and it’s like he was entranced by the man, that goes by the name of Lee Jeno. their stare lingers until Renjun called him:_

_‘Okay Jaemin you can- uh, Jaem?’_

_He was startled by the sudden intrusion, quickly breaking the eye contact, clearing his throat._

_‘Jaemin, what a lovely name,’ is what Jeno thought to himself. He went to get his coffee after a few minutes, hearing his name being called. Jeno glanced over to where Jaemin was making the drinks, figuring out a plan in his head - after all, he couldn’t let go something so pretty._

_\----_

_‘Bye Jun, see you tomorrow!’_

_Jaemin waved his friend goodbye, walking away from the cafe before stopping on his track, and couldn't believe what he was seeing in front of him._

_Is Lee Jeno really standing in front of him right now?_

_‘Hello darling, care for a ride home?’_

_He said with a gentle smile on his face._

* * *

It all started in the small cafe down the street, the exchange of names and a ride home. It all started with a young rich gentleman having an interest with an average college student who works at the coffee shop because he’s in need of some extra pocket money.

All that, and here he is right now:

In a large mansion - exaggeratingly big for a two person to live in, a little too lonely for one person as the other were barely home most of the time except for at night. In the middle of nowhere, a land too secluded for his own liking, but a place where his safety would be ensured. 

In a room - where they would spend most of their night, making love to each other, sweaty bodies collided with each other. A room that had been the witness of their three words, three powerful words that acts like a vow for every love.

And that’s where he is, in the room, alone, waiting for his love to walk through the door, alive and not covered in blood - like how he had always hoped for.

He paced around the room, eyeing every one of the decorations, the vintage overpriced gramophone being displayed at a corner of the room along with shelves full of vinyl records. He likes it, listening to some 50s jazz songs while holding each other - dancing through the night.

But somehow, the gramophone doesn’t attract him as much as the big painting hanging above the bed. A painting that would be seen as nothing to someone who was not into arts like him, but surprisingly he can describe the painting perfectly. He stood there, staring at the painting of the light and the dark. A painting that he would describe as two things - freedom and imprisonment. 

Freedom, something that he had wished for ever since he knew the truth, the truth about the love of his life. Ever since he knew everything, his life was never the same. Knowing the truth has its own consequences and his is the fact that he was no longer safe - but he couldn’t care less.

He remembers the days where he was clueless about anything, he remembers that he was so ready to start a relationship without knowing that six months from then, his life would change into something he doesn’t expect he would have.

He remembers the horror of knowing the truth, not being told but rather being shown to him, that moment he knew he had jumped in a hole that he shouldn’t be jumping into.

***flashback***

_‘Wh-what are you- is he d-dead?’_

_Jaemin couldn’t believe his eyes, blood everywhere, guns, dead people all over - and the worst part is that, Jeno did it. He looked around him in disbelief, thinking:_

_How can his sweet, gentle boyfriend do such things?_

_How can the person he woke up to everyday with a smile be this violent?_

_How can the love of his life, who he trusts his whole life keep everything from him?_

_‘Jaemin , darling-’_

_‘Don’t! Do not come any more closer!’_

_‘Babe please- let me explain.’_

_Jeno tried to reach out to him, trying to be close to him, trying to reach for his hands yet he failed. The moment he was especially scared of ever since they were together has come. The secret he had been keeping from Jaemin, for the sake of the latter’s safety had come to an end. He looked down at his blood filled hands and all he could think of was - Jaemin._

_‘Who are you Lee Jeno?’_

_His heart shattered at how scared Jaemin sounded, his voice barely a whisper, his body visibly shaking. His heart broke into million pieces when the love of his life wouldn’t even look at his face, eyes never met his. He felt his heart drop at the sight of the younger crying, sobbing his lungs out, trying to comprehend everything._

_He took a step closer,_

_‘Come here, hm?’_

_‘No-’_

_He took another step closer,_

_‘Please, angel.’_

_‘Jeno-’_

_He took one last step before hugging his lover tightly, trying to calm the other down. Jaemin on the other hand, squirming and whimpering, not wanting to be close to him, or that was what he thought. Jeno knows, he knows that all Jaemin wanted was for him to comfort him and he also knows that all he ever wanted was Jaemin to be close._

_Both of them need each other despite everything._

_‘Jaemin.’_

_The younger had stopped squirming after a while, the only thing that could be heard was the sobbing coming from him._

_‘Take me home.’_

_And that is what he did, he took him home._

_That night, Jeno explained everything about him. Every little detail of his life wouldn’t be missed, every single thing that had happened way before he met Jaemin was being told. That night, he held Jaemin close to him, trying to gain a new trust from the latter._

_It’s hard for him, and it was certainly harder for Jaemin - especially after learning that your boyfriend was actually the leader of the most well known mafia gang in the whole city._

* * *

  
‘Angel, I’m home!’

Jeno greeted as he took off his shoes, before walking inside his home. He chuckled at the thought of ‘home’ because he knows that Jaemin certainly doesn’t think of this as home, rather thinking it as an imprisonment for him. Just like the painting in their room, this ‘home’ is imprisonment for him. He couldn’t go anywhere out of the house ever since two weeks ago, not when his life was in danger because of him.

He couldn’t do anything but to blame himself, can’t stop thinking that all these happened because of him. 

If he isn’t too head over heels for the younger, Jaemin wouldn’t be here in the mess he created. 

If he wasn’t being too reckless, Jaemin would be free to enjoy his normal life.

If it wasn’t for him, Jaemin wouldn’t be stuck in this prison, alone.

‘I’m in here!’

He walked towards the soothing voice he had been waiting for every end of the day. He pushed the door open, revealing his angel, sitting on the bed, waiting for him. 

At this moment, all of his insecurities washed over him, seeing his lover made him scared. He felt every drag of his feet was a torture for him, he couldn’t look at Jaemin without fearing that the younger would leave him soon. He looked down to where Jaemin had been staring at him, and there he sees, blood in his hands.

Something that he knows Jaemin wouldn’t want to see.

‘You might want to wash that.’

Was all he could hear from the younger.

\---

After a few minutes, Jeno walked out of the bathroom. He stood in front of Jaemin, but never looked him in the eyes - and Jaemin knows why. He knows exactly why the former wouldn’t watch him in the eyes, he knows why Jeno just stood there, quietly, instead of walking to him.

He’s scared.

He’s insecure.

He’s helpless in the ocean of negativeness.

No matter how violence Jeno is, Jaemin knows he has the softest heart. No matter how much blood Jeno would get in his hands, Jaemin knows that Jeno needs the assurances more than himself. No matter how fearless Jeno is, Jaemin knows that he is drowning in guilt and insecurities. He walked over to where Jeno was standing and held his chin up, making an eye contact with the latter:

‘Jeno.’

The older still avoids his eyes, his own broken eyes wandering to anywhere but Jaemin’s. Jaemin tries again, whispering:

‘Look at me, please.’

And that seems to make him look at Jaemin in the eyes. That’s where Jaemin could see, pool of vulnerability in his eyes. He saw what others couldn’t, he saw a side of Jeno that he tries so hard to hide. He caresses his cheeks softly with the palm of his hand that was holding his chin up a few seconds ago. Jeno leaned in, feeling safe in his hand - eyes never left the younger.

‘It’s okay, you’ll be okay.’

Is all he wanted to hear. He takes the courage to move his hands, placing it at both sides of Jaemin’s waist. He pulled him closer, burying his face in the crook of his neck, inhaling the soft scent of rose and peaches from Jaemin’s shampoo. He felt his heart at ease, his dangerous world was left behind, he felt like all of his darkness had been replaced with Jaemin’s bright world.

Jaemin’s world is much better than his, much brighter than his, much more safe than his. Jaemin’s world is what he had been dreaming of living, his world is the definition of a normal life he desired. Jaemin’s world was nothing but rainbows and sunshine - things that he couldn’t picture himself seeing in his own world.

His world? It’s safe to say that it would be a place you wouldn't live in. being the total opposite of Jaemin’s bright world, his world is filled with darkness. Jeno’s world is filled with violence, blood, tortures, any dangerous things you could name, is what filled Jeno’s dark world. The dark hole that leads to Jeno’s world is something you have to avoid - there’s no turning back once you in.

That’s the saddest thing, Jeno couldn’t jump back out even if he wanted to - having to live in his depressingly dark world ever since he was 17.

Jaemin’s hand caressing his hair pulled him back to reality, sighing relief he tightened the hug. Jaemin on the other hand just sways their body together, humming to their favourite jazz song instead of letting any words slip out of his mouth, knowing that the man in his embrace would speak when he felt like it. Just as his expected, the older voiced out a timid call of his name, muffling in between his neck:

‘Jaemin-’

‘Yes baby, I’m here.’

Jaemin waited for Jeno to speak again, body never stopping swaying from side to side, still humming the same song. He tried to push Jeno up again, wanting to see his face but to no avail, instead he just opted to keep caressing his hair.

‘Are you scared of me?’

It shocked Jaemin for a second because he never asked this sort of question. As a matter of fact, Jeno never asked or said anything instead of his usual ‘I love you’, saying that those three words are enough to express his feelings. Never once did Jaemin expect him to ask such a question, but he answered it anyways.

‘No, why are you asking this?’

Jeno lifted his head up after a moment, he stroked Jaemin’s cheeks with the back of his palm gently, like he was scared that he would break Jaemin if he wasn’t careful. 

‘Can I touch you like this- without you being scared?’

Jaemin held the hands that were on his cheeks, pressing it so that his hands could touch him more. He felt the way Jeno’s hand was shaking under him like he was scared, scared that his hand would break him into pieces. He saw how scared he was in his eyes, scared that if he touches him more, he would shatter like a fragile glass. Jaemin smiled, hand still holding Jeno’s calloused ones before telling him:

‘You can touch me as much as you want and I won’t ever be scared. 

There’s no reason for me to be scared of you touching me, not even when your hands are full of blood. 

Your touch is the only thing that made me feel at ease, your touch made me feel happy.’

Jeno eyes were glassy, tears ready to spill anytime. He doesn’t know what to say, but he felt burdens left on one side of his shoulder. However, that doesn’t mean he can sleep at night, instead he dropped his hand to where Jaemin’s waist is, pulling it closer to him. His thumb caresses his sides delicately, eyes never leaving Jaemin ethereal face. With a blink of an eye, his tears fall, making the younger shocked, trying to wipe it off when Jeno shake his head as to refuse the younger’s action, giving him a small smile before asking:

‘C-can I hold you like this- without the fear that one day sooner y-you would leave me?’

Jeno's attempt to not cry failed as he broke into tears, holding Jaemin really tight as if he was going to fly away into thin air. Tonight was all a surprise to Jaemin, he doesn’t know what made Jeno think this way, tonight if the first time he saw Jeno broke down into tears because no matter what happened Jeno never cries. He couldn’t bring himself to answer anything, he hugged the older back calming him down as Jeno sobs harder in his neck. 

Hot tears falling between his neck and shoulder is enough to make Jaemin’s heart shatter into pieces. The sobs coming from Jeno is enough for Jaemin that he was in pain, unable to control his emotions any longer. The way his body shook from how hard he was crying is enough for Jaemin to feel the negativeness had bitten Jeno in a way that made him broke. 

He composed himself, pushing Jeno so that he could face him before saying:

‘Jeno, baby- What made you say all these, hm? Y’know you can hold me as long as you want, I won’t ever leave you. Never once did I think of leaving you, never once would I ever think of walking away from you, never once did I ever think of not seeing you by my side. You can hold me without the fear, because believe me when I tell you that I’ll never leave your side, ever. You make me feel safe every time you hold me, with all these dangerous worlds of ours, your hold made me feel like everything will be okay when I am in your arms. So don’t ever think about me leaving or being scared of you ever again because that is far from what I think of you.

Lee Jeno, as crazy as your world could be, how dark it is, how dangerous it is for us, I’ll never leave you alone. I won’t leave you ever, there’s nothing that could take me from you, not even your enemies not anyone. You, you are my world, and the only thing that could break us apart is death. But until then, I’m yours and yours only, no leaving, no being scared of you. And that’s my word for you, my promise to stay for whatever happens, may it be rainbows or storms, we’ll be with each other as long the universe wants us.’

If one thing that Jeno would be grateful for is the fact that Na Jaemin is here with him, in his dark world. He doesn’t know how to describe his angel, because his kindness, the way he cares, his sweet loving self is indescribable. There’s nothing that Jeno would trade for his sweet angel Jaemin, not even the billion dollars he has.

In his world full of darkness and violence, Jaemin came in to light his life up. Before, his life was a dull, colourless world that no one wants to jump into, alone in the dark makes him feel like this is the only place he will be. But soon, Jaemin came into the picture and for once, Jeno felt like everything was right, every single switch of lights in his world flickered open. He felt like Jaemin was the only good thing in his life, and nothing could top that.

That’s when he realized, all he needed was Na Jaemin - an angel in his life.

‘I love you, angel, so much.’

‘And I love you too, my person, forever and always.’

Was all they needed to utter to each other, nothing could beat the three powerful words.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> hello! I hope that you guys like this short slow burn-ish that I wrote for you guys! I kinda wanna try to write something different from what I always write so here it is ig hehe
> 
> I hope that everyone could check the people that you love everytime because you'll never know if the person's really okay, so check up on your loved ones and assure them that everything will be okay! <3
> 
> take care and stay safe! xx


End file.
